The double empathy problem, explained simply

The old story, and the new one

For decades it was assumed that communication problems between Autistic and non-Autistic people were caused by a deficit in the Autistic person: a lack of “theory of mind”, an inability to understand how others think and feel. That put all the responsibility for adapting on Autistic people and treated non-Autistic communication as the unmarked, correct standard.

In 2012, Autistic researcher Damian Milton proposed the double empathy problem. When two people with very different ways of experiencing and processing the world try to communicate, both find it harder to understand the other. The difficulty isn't located inside the Autistic person. It emerges in the gap between two different ways of being.

What the evidence shows

Much of the research since has supported this (Milton et al., 2022). Autistic people often communicate fluently and effectively with each other: they pass on information accurately, read each other's emotional signals, build rapport and cooperate easily. In one well-known study, chains of Autistic people passed on information as accurately as chains of non-Autistic people, while mixed chains lost more (Crompton et al., 2020a). Autistic people also report higher rapport with each other than in mixed pairs (Crompton et al., 2020b).

Non-Autistic people also form quick, less favourable first impressions of Autistic people, and are less accurate at reading Autistic people's thoughts and feelings (Edey et al., 2016; Sasson et al., 2017).

In other words, the “deficit” often fades when the person you're talking to shares your style. Research is still growing, and some findings are more mixed, but it seriously challenges practice built on the deficit model.

What it means in everyday life

• Directness isn't rudeness. Many Autistic people are unusually honest and precise, and expect the same back. It's a different set of social values in which clarity is respect and indirectness is obscurity.
• Non-Autistic people also misread. If an Autistic person can't read someone's tone, that person is very probably failing to read the Autistic person's signals, style and attempts to connect. The asymmetry is in who gets marked as having failed.
• Repair is shared. When communication breaks down, both sides are responsible for bridging the gap. In practice the burden falls almost entirely on the Autistic person, who is expected to explain, clarify, apologise and adapt.
• The goal isn't better performance of neurotypicality. It's everyone widening their communication repertoire: more explicit, more literal, more tolerant of silence and different pacing, more accepting of writing, AAC and other ways of communicating, and less reliant on hints and unspoken rules.
• Double empathy isn't only about neurotype. Culture, language, race, class and generation all add their own gaps, and Autistic people differ from each other too. For multiply marginalised Autistic people, these gaps stack up.

Where the gap matters most

Assessment

Non-Autistic clinicians assessing Autistic communication are themselves in a cross-neurotype conversation. Judgements about whether someone has “appropriate” reciprocity are made by a party who is also experiencing the gap, and whose difficulty is recorded as the other person's characteristic. See The Neurodiversity-Affirmative Child Autism Assessment Handbook (to which Helen Edgar contributed).

Conflict

An Autistic person's attempt to clarify is read as argumentative, and a non-Autistic person's attempt to soften is read as evasive. Each side's repair strategy makes things worse for the other, and the Autistic person, who is usually outnumbered, often carries the blame.

Families

Double empathy happens at home too, between parents and children with different neurotypes. Understanding it can ease a lot of blame on both sides. See Autistic Realms' The Double Empathy Problem: A Family Guide and Re-Storying Autism.

Unequal power

Between professional and client, teacher and pupil, or manager and employee, the non-Autistic interpretation becomes the official record. The Autistic account is written down as their perception, and the other account as what happened.

Why it matters for how you see yourself

If you've spent your life being told you can't read people, this is the other half of the story. It's a mismatch of styles, not a broken you. Finding other Autistic people, where the mismatch often melts away, can feel like coming home. See our guide to finding Autistic community. And for another idea that came from Autistic people rather than clinics, read about monotropism.

Common questions

Who came up with the double empathy problem?

Autistic researcher Damian Milton proposed it in 2012. He argued that communication difficulties between Autistic and non-Autistic people are mutual and emerge from differences in how each experiences the world.

Does this mean Autistic people lack empathy?

No. Many Autistic people feel others' emotions intensely. The double empathy problem is about mutual understanding across different ways of being, not about caring less (Fletcher-Watson & Bird, 2020).

How can I use this idea in real life?

Ask for and offer more explicitness, allow silence and different pacing, accept written communication, and share responsibility for repair when things go wrong, instead of expecting one person to translate.

What's wrong with the theory of mind deficit idea?

It placed the problem entirely inside Autistic people and treated non-Autistic communication as the standard. Research increasingly shows mixed conversations can break down in both directions, while Autistic-to-Autistic communication often works well.

References

• Crompton, C. J., Ropar, D., Evans-Williams, C. V. M., Flynn, E. G., & Fletcher-Watson, S. (2020a). Autistic peer-to-peer information transfer is highly effective. Autism, 24(7), 1704–1712.
• Crompton, C. J., Sharp, M., Axbey, H., Fletcher-Watson, S., Flynn, E. G., & Ropar, D. (2020b). Neurotype-matching, but not being autistic, influences self and observer ratings of interpersonal rapport. Frontiers in Psychology, 11, Article 586171.
• Edey, R., Cook, J., Brewer, R., Johnson, M. H., Bird, G., & Press, C. (2016). Interaction takes two: Typical adults exhibit mind-blindness towards those with autism spectrum disorder. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 125(7), 879–885.
• Fletcher-Watson, S., & Bird, G. (2020). Autism and empathy: What are the real links? Autism, 24(1), 3–6.
• Milton, D. E. M. (2012). On the ontological status of autism: The "double empathy problem". Disability & Society, 27(6), 883–887.
• Milton, D., Gurbuz, E., & López, B. (2022). The "double empathy problem": Ten years on. Autism, 26(8), 1901–1903.
• Sasson, N. J., Faso, D. J., Nugent, J., Lovell, S., Kennedy, D. P., & Grossman, R. B. (2017). Neurotypical peers are less willing to interact with those with autism based on thin slice judgments. Scientific Reports, 7, Article 40700.